Who Is More Fortunate?
Ada is a 10-year-old gal. She lives with her mother (her father abandoned them when she was 3) who supports the family working the midnight shift (7pm to 7am). By the time her mother returns from work, Ada would have left for school; when Ada returns from school, her mother would have left for her shift. Ada hardly sees or talks to her mother even on her mother's off day as she would be busy doing the housework which has accumulated over the week. Ada is thus a typical latchkey child who would return to an empty house to be on her own. She would prepare her own meals, do her homework and watch TV all by herself. There were times that she wished that her mother would be around to talk to her or even nag at her but she also understood that her mother has to work to keep the family going. Gradually, Ada learnt how to take care of herself and her mother when she falls ill. Though she seldom have the money to go out with her friends, she has a group of good friends who understands her situation and would help her whenever they can. However, Ada has always longed for a younger sibliing to play with or to talk to then she won't be so lonely. She had even hoped that her father would return to her and her mother so that the family would be complete again. But does a complete family equal to a happy family? Does single-parent family necessarily mean an unhappy one?
Belle comes from a complete family, living with her parents and a younger brother. Though both her parents are working, she doesn't go home to an empty house as her maid would be there to wait on her. She can go out as and when she likes as long as she keeps her mother (who gives her more than enough pocket money) inform of her whereabouts. But that was before the arrival of her brother. The lastest member of the family has taken away almost everything that Belle has been enjoying. The maid will always be busy taking care of him instead of her. Even her parents are spending more time with him instead of listening to what she has to share. It seemed that everything suddenly centred only around her brother and she felt neglected. It's not surprising then that she resented her brother so much that she had hoped that he was never born. Then as he gets older, he becomes more demanding and that gets on the nerves of Belle. He would complain to daddy and mummy about Belle on her slightest fault and she would face the music without being given the chance to explain what had happened. Her parents expect her to give in to her brother since she is the older one and that he is too young to know right from wrong. Gradually, Belle feels that her parents don't love her anymore or at least they love her brother more. She becomes easily agitated especially when she sees her brother. She doesn't share her problems with her parents like she used to and worse still she sees them as being naggy. Soon she realised that she hates coming home and would find excuses to stay away for as long as she could. She would rather hang out with her friends than to be home and be irritated by her brother or nagged at by her parents. Does having a younger sibling need to be seen as a threat or worse still as a stealer of the parents' love? Must siblings be fighting for their parents' affection rather than sharing it equally?
Ada is a 10-year-old gal. She lives with her mother (her father abandoned them when she was 3) who supports the family working the midnight shift (7pm to 7am). By the time her mother returns from work, Ada would have left for school; when Ada returns from school, her mother would have left for her shift. Ada hardly sees or talks to her mother even on her mother's off day as she would be busy doing the housework which has accumulated over the week. Ada is thus a typical latchkey child who would return to an empty house to be on her own. She would prepare her own meals, do her homework and watch TV all by herself. There were times that she wished that her mother would be around to talk to her or even nag at her but she also understood that her mother has to work to keep the family going. Gradually, Ada learnt how to take care of herself and her mother when she falls ill. Though she seldom have the money to go out with her friends, she has a group of good friends who understands her situation and would help her whenever they can. However, Ada has always longed for a younger sibliing to play with or to talk to then she won't be so lonely. She had even hoped that her father would return to her and her mother so that the family would be complete again. But does a complete family equal to a happy family? Does single-parent family necessarily mean an unhappy one?
Belle comes from a complete family, living with her parents and a younger brother. Though both her parents are working, she doesn't go home to an empty house as her maid would be there to wait on her. She can go out as and when she likes as long as she keeps her mother (who gives her more than enough pocket money) inform of her whereabouts. But that was before the arrival of her brother. The lastest member of the family has taken away almost everything that Belle has been enjoying. The maid will always be busy taking care of him instead of her. Even her parents are spending more time with him instead of listening to what she has to share. It seemed that everything suddenly centred only around her brother and she felt neglected. It's not surprising then that she resented her brother so much that she had hoped that he was never born. Then as he gets older, he becomes more demanding and that gets on the nerves of Belle. He would complain to daddy and mummy about Belle on her slightest fault and she would face the music without being given the chance to explain what had happened. Her parents expect her to give in to her brother since she is the older one and that he is too young to know right from wrong. Gradually, Belle feels that her parents don't love her anymore or at least they love her brother more. She becomes easily agitated especially when she sees her brother. She doesn't share her problems with her parents like she used to and worse still she sees them as being naggy. Soon she realised that she hates coming home and would find excuses to stay away for as long as she could. She would rather hang out with her friends than to be home and be irritated by her brother or nagged at by her parents. Does having a younger sibling need to be seen as a threat or worse still as a stealer of the parents' love? Must siblings be fighting for their parents' affection rather than sharing it equally?
Ada and Belle, who is more fortunate? I would say both are fortunate in their own way. Ada is fortunate that she has a mother who works hard to support her and she also has friends who share her joys and sorrows. More importantly, her unfortunate family background has made her a stronger and a more independent gal. Belle is fortunate to have a 'perfect' family, with both her parents and a brother. She has friends to hang out with and money to spend as she desires. However, both have hoped that their life could be better but how good is 'better'? Is there such a thing as a truly perfect family?
A family is made up of human beings and being human we are not perfect, then can a few imperfect people come together to form a perfect unit? The answer is quite obvious or is it? Somehow, deep in our mind we have always envied another family whom we perceive as the perfect family and wanted very much to be a part of that family. But the irony is, members of that 'perfect' family could be envious of your family and would do anything to swap family with you. Then whose family is really the perfect one?
Perfect or imperfect, it's all in our mind. It's what we choose to believe. If you choose to believe that it isn't perfect because you have only one parent or you have a difficult sibling then it will turn out just the way you perceive it - a family that sucks. Similarly, if you choose to remember the happy times you shared together as a family, you would appreciate each other more and would work hard to relive those wonderful times. Thus, the next time you feel like condemning your family, ask yourself if they are really that intolerable and that they deserved to be bad-mouthed, bearing in mind that they are only human just like you and me.
'You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.'
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